But let’s face it: Asking “Do you want to get married someday?” sounds like you’re fishing for whether or not they want to marry , which could make anyone feel claustrophobic. Some people find this topic too taboo to bring up at all. While it’s always best to confirm that your feelings about the relationship are mutual, taking notice of these signs will help you feel more confident that the relationship is progressing in the desired direction. ” I personally hate this drama-inducing question and tried to avoid it in the past. Don’t assume because one is happening that you have the golden ticket for exclusivity. Frame it as a request People rarely respond well to demands or ultimatums, so the last thing you want to do is play hardball with lines like, “I can’t see you anymore unless we’re exclusive.” The key, says Puhn, is to present your desire in an amiable way that shows you’re open to a discussion about it.Like: “I have such a good time with you, and I want to see where this relationship will go.Instead, try, “How do you envision your future—say, ten years from now?
Stick to the 24-hour rule When the feeling hits, it’s hard to hold back.
Calmly say, “My feelings are strong enough that I can’t continue seeing you if this isn’t exclusive.” It’s no one’s fault, so don’t treat it as such, and you leave the door open for your sweetie to maybe start missing you and change his or her mind. Sure, provided there’s a chance you may want to commit down the road. So bite the bullet and say, “I like you, but I’m not at a point in my life where I want a relationship in the foreseeable future.” That may hurt, but your honesty here will spare you both a lot of pain later on.
Keep it positive So your date wants you and only you… “What your date is really asking is, ‘Are you into this? So if you are, say so before mentioning your reservations, as in “I’m really into this, I just need more time, can you give me that? …But not While these are legitimate curiosities, making your date dish specifics isn’t helpful and if anything, will just breed insecurity.
But this doesn’t mean your nonexclusive status should continue indefinitely.
Revisit the topic in a few months and if your honey still balks, go ahead and cut ties. “If your answer isn’t, ‘No, for now,’ but ‘No, forever,’ putting off telling the truth means the issue will only re-emerge one month later, and one month after that,” warns Puhn.